


Beautiful

by SimonMonroe



Category: 13 Reasons Why (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst and Tragedy, F/M, Mentions of Suicide, Suicide, trigger warning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-29
Updated: 2018-05-29
Packaged: 2019-05-15 15:55:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,679
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14793492
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SimonMonroe/pseuds/SimonMonroe
Summary: Set in a Soulmate AU.Clay received his soulmate mark a year ago. He thought it was beautiful.Then he met Hannah Baker.





	Beautiful

**Author's Note:**

> Major trigger warning for suicide. 
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters portrayed in this fic.

Clay had always been a little different from the others. He was socially awkward, he paid no attention to the world around him, he hardly went outside, etcetera, etcetera. What really set him apart from the others was not any of those things, however, but instead the dark marking on his left wrist. It wasn't just any marking, though. It was a soulmate marking.

  
Many years ago, when soulmate marks first began appearing, the world descended into chaos. Some claimed it was the work of God, others cried that it was the end of the world, and a minority believed that those with the mark were not human. This was until a number of experiments were conducted, which resulted in the marks being declared as harmless and meaningless.

  
It wasn't meaningless, though. Not to Clay at least- or anyone else he knew with the mark. This mark defined their soulmate. The person they were destined to, the person who would make their life so much better for them. The person that Clay needed to survive.

  
It was a year ago when he first received his mark. He'd been lazing around in his bed, earphones in, playing Lord Huron's, _"Meet Me in the Woods"_  on loop when he'd felt a sharp pain in his wrist. He'd ignored it until it had began burning, the smell of burning flesh infecting the air. He'd rushed to the bathroom so quickly that he'd fallen with a heavy thud onto the floor beneath him, and the ground had vibrated underneath his heavy footsteps when he'd managed to scramble to his feet.

  
He'd yanked up the sleeve to his hoodie so hard that he'd almost ripped the material. And there it was. Her name, the one he loved the moment he saw that beautiful handwriting on his wrist. _"Hannah Baker"_. He'd stayed there in that tiny bathroom for hours that day, staring in awe and admiration at the twists and turns of the letters. They were perfect.

  
That was until he had met Hannah Baker in the flesh. She was everything he had imagined that she would be. She was stunningly beautiful, confident, funny, outgoing and just the right amount of sarcastic. The problem? Clay wasn't any of these things. In fact, if he had to put himself and Hannah Baker on a scale, they would be at complete opposite ends. The other problem? His name wasn't on her left wrist.

  
The first time he had approached her, he had expected an undeniable chemistry of what could only be shared between soulmates to pass between them. That was not what he received. She had looked him up and down, frowning at his presence, and had walked away as if he hadn't spoken to her. That was the first time his heart shattered. That night he had locked himself in his room and wouldn't come out even to eat. He'd scrubbed and scrubbed at his mark, wishing it would wipe away so he wouldn't have to see that _beautiful_ handwriting display that _beautiful_ name.

  
After that incident, he'd decided it would do him some good to do something with his life, so he got a job at 'The Crestmont', a Movie Theatre not too far away. The only problem was that Hannah Baker also worked at The Crestmont. Not only did she work there but they shared the same shifts and she was mentoring Clay. He was relieved that he had covered up his mark with a wristband, otherwise there was no way she would've missed it.

  
During the shift, she'd began asking how the town was, as she'd only moved there 3 weeks prior, to which he responded that he didn't know as he'd been living there all his life. He had followed this statement up saying, "That would be like asking Han Solo "How is Space?"", and she had looked at him as if she was really _seeing_  him for the first time. When she had replied, "Wow! You're an actual nerd, aren't you?", he realised that she liked that about him. She admired him for who he was.

  
He had been giddy for the rest of the week after that, excited that maybe, _just maybe_  Hannah Baker was beginning to like him back. But then he'd began hearing things about Hannah. Things that were being spread around the school. That she was "easy", that she had the "best ass", etcetera. He could do nothing but watch as her mental health began to break down bit by bit.

  
He'd tried to help. They'd spent a night up on the rooftop of The Crestmont and had watched the lunar eclipse together. He'd been staring at her the entire time rather than the eclipse, after all not even the eclipse was a match for her beauty. The sight of her staring up at the night sky had left him breathless, and he'd had to quickly look away before she caught him staring. Everything was perfect.

  
Everything was perfect until all sorts of guys at school began groping her. Everything was perfect until even more rumours came out and that photo had been spread around. Everything was perfect until the party.

  
The party had been the best and worst thing of his life. They'd gone up to that stuffy bedroom and she'd sat on that bed, always looking so dazzling, and he'd worked up the nerve to  _finally_ kiss her. His soulmate. When their lips had met, he'd felt the electricity that had passed between them. He had held it for a couple of seconds before pulling away, staring into her deep blue eyes, before he'd gone back in again, pressing their lips together more roughly. She'd began kissing back, beautifully following his movements, her nails digging into the back of his neck. It had gotten more heated, both resting against the bed, biting at each other's lips, tongue meeting tongue, clothes quickly removed and discarded. He'd kept going further and further and everything was perfect.

  
Until it wasn't. Until she'd told him to stop and pushed him away. He'd apologised, worried he'd hurt her, asked her what had happened- he'd thought everything was okay. It wasn't. She'd screamed at him to leave. And he did. He left. He'd walked home that night, after wandering around for a while thinking about what had happened. He wouldn't be able to face her after that.

  
But he managed to everyday at school. They'd see each other, but he was always too scared to approach. He couldn't after she'd rejected him like that. The worst part was that he still wasn't her soulmate, so he decided to finally give up on his soulmate. He was giving up on Hannah Baker. That was the second time he felt his heart break.

  
And then she gave up on him, too. She'd come into work and had handed in her uniform, barely glancing at him. She'd walked out and left and he hadn't said a word. He couldn't. He wanted to but what would he say? _"Hannah, I'm your soulmate"_? No. He couldn't tell her that. He wished he had told her that.

  
After that he saw her one more time. She was stood beside her locker and he decided he would finally go up and speak to her. But he screwed it up, just like he screws everything up. He could tell she was paying no attention to what he was saying and then he let her walk away. That was the last time he saw her.

  
He didn't know that on that same day she'd seen Mr. Porter and after that she'd dropped off the tapes outside of Tony's and then returned home. He didn't know that she had a plan to kill herself that day. He definitely knew when she was killing herself though.

  
He'd been lazing around in his bed, earphones in, playing Joy Division's _"Love Will Tear Us Apart"_ on loop when he'd felt a sharp pain in his wrist. He'd ignored it until it had began burning, the smell of burning flesh infecting the air. He stared down at his wrist and he knew that something was very wrong. He yanked up the sleeve to his hoodie and just stared at her beautiful name- Hannah Baker. Only it wasn't beautiful anymore. The twists and turns of the letters seemed wrong- deformed. It wasn't right. Something was wrong with Hannah Baker. And that's when he saw the thick, black colour of the name begin to fade and he realised- Oh. _Oh_. She's dying. He'd gotten to his feet so quickly that he'd fallen with a heavy thud onto the floor beneath him, and the ground had vibrated underneath his heavy footsteps when he'd managed to scramble to his feet. He ran and ran and ran. He had to stop her. He'd barged into the front door of her house, nearly ripping the door off it's hinges, and almost fell up the stairs. He'd torn off the door to the bathroom and there she was.

  
That was the last time his heart broke. There she was lay in the tub that was already overflowing with her blood. She was facing the door, yet she didn't see him. She couldn't see him- her eyes were glued shut. He fell to his knees before her, holding his head in his hands, letting out an agonising scream at the death of his soulmate. It felt as if he were dying. His body was dying from the inside. He'd pulled her close to him, looked at the cuts she'd made on his wrists and that's when he noticed it. The beautiful, _beautiful_ handwriting on her wrist that barely made out the name, _"Clay Jensen"_.

  
He had been too late.

  
Many people had different opinions of the soulmate mark. Some claimed it was the work of God, others cried that it was the end of the world, and a minority believed that those with the mark were not human.

  
Clay however, believed that it was the most beautiful yet cursed thing in the world.


End file.
